bored. everyday.

so here i am. bored again. im always bored nowadays. ive been watching 2 movies everyday. today i watched 3 with time for a 4th. i sit lay down on this couch and watch the random movies that i get from blockbuster. i havent done the dishes in a while so im out of plates. im so lazy to clean them. i just dont have the motivation to do it. i was so lazy that i only ate once today and it was food that didnt require any utensils. my daily rituals are getting more and more boring as the days go on. i could go geocaching, but that requires gas to drive around, and its so DAMN hot out here. i wish you could feel my anger when i say that its so hot here. i can feel my blood pressure rise right now just thinking about it. i feel the anger in my chest. and im not just typing it just to make you “believe” me. i ACTUALLY feel mad right now. i hate this heat. i wish i could have a AC’d suit on all day. i hate that im never fully comfortable. its either too hot or too cold (inside). and im so scared to turn on my AC in the house cause i dont want to spend more money on the elex bill. money is already starting to get REALLY tight for me. this is the 1st time that im getting scared about my money situation. the bills are starting to pile up and theres really no hope right now to get rid of them. im still able to buy a thing for myself here and there, but its so hard to stay away from spending. that is mainly the reason why i stay home. i CANT spend money. im scared to go out to the beach cause after the beach is usually going out to eat, or a movie, or going to the mall. and what do you do in those places? spend money. money i dont have. im sooooo excited that jennifer is coming here in december, but the truth is, im scard cause i dont know what were going to do about the money situation. i dont want her to work, but i think she’s going to have to. ive mentioned it to her a couple of times, but shes going to get here in DEC, maybe start working in Jan, then by may/jun, we’ll be leaving. time is going to fly by. and im still supposed to go to the philippines in feb. i really need to save every last penny. and i need to get my money from all of those people that owe me money. as of right now, allen owes me $125, apple owes me $150, chris owes me $90, john owes me $50. then im supposed to sell one of my guns for $300. i still need to sell my other guns and hopefully that’ll be enough to pay for jennifer’s ticket to come here. it should be. but im still going to save. i need to get it done. i havent been in a situation like this since before i joined the CG. and now im back in it. and i need to get myself out. fast.

a 2nd chance…

a list of things to do/see with my wonderful wife during the last 6 months of our time in guamANIA.

[ ] Geocaching (of course)

[ ] Chamorro Village

[ ] Two Lovers Point
[ ]Kayaking

[ ] Underwater World (again)
[ ] Gab Gab Beach (Snorkel)
[ ] Polaris Point Beach (Relax)
[ ] Fish Eye Beach (Snorkel again)
[ ] Tarza Waterpark
[ ] PIC Weekend stay
[ ] Sunset on Tumon beach
[ ] Cornhole with the friends
[ ] Just drive.
[ ] Weekly movie day

what else???

going home…

it happened. i cried. it finally hit me once the plane lifted off of the ground and i saw san diego fade away into the distance. i realized that im not going to be back here for about another year. my loved ones wont be around me anymore. im off to a far away land with no one to help me when i need it. im off to the real world with no family and where no one cares how you feel or how your life is. im going back to sleeping alone, a silent house, and lonely drives.

but dont get me wrong, i had a GREAT time. the past 3-4 weeks have been just about the best weeks of my life. ive had my REAL friends around me. we ALL had a great time. we had some speed bumps along the way, but what friendships dont? ive gotten closer to this group than i ever had before. i experienced san diego like i never have before. i tried lots of new things and met some new people. i had an awesome time with the Cool Kids and thanks to them, san diego will ALWAYS be home. heres some words from the puso! haha

Jennifer: Of course i have to start off with you. this has definitely been the best time that ive ever had on vacation. we did so much. i know that we didnt get to do all of the things that you wanted to do on the xList, but i think in the end, we made it to be better than we thought it would be. i really wish that you were next to me on this flight back to guam, but i know that we shouldnt have you miss school just for our benefit. i know that you’ll do great even when im not there. i thank you for understanding the times that i wanted to hang out with family. i know that you wanted ALOT more alone time, but im glad to know that we were still able to have fun with everyone. dont worry, we’ll have TONS of jR time when i get back and when you go to guam for vacation. well, i know that im going to talk to you EVERY chance that i get, but yeah, im not really sure on what to put next, so i’ll end this now. i love you jennifer. keep your head up. ehh ehh ehh ehh. bad boy.

Christine: hey stinky. thanks for hanging out that WHOLE time. (oh gosh, it smells like feet right now on the plane. CRAP. and i thought that MY feet stink. hahahahaha) back to what i was saying, thanks for chillin. you definitely made this trip a blast. i hope that you get hired at some suh weet job and get your hustle on. i know you’ll do great and hopefully when i get back to the states, we can actually do what we were talking about. please help me help jenny whenever shes in a time of need especially these next few weeks when you guys get used to me being gone. but yeah, thanks for bearing with me the whole time and just remember, i’ll always be here to help. ooo, time for drinks and peanuts!!!!

Uncle Jason: yo DUDE! OWWW, some salt just shot in my eye from opening these honey roasted peanuts. im ok now. if it weren’t for you and your mom, i dont know where i would have been this past 3 weeks. you helped me sooooo much with the room. thanks for letting us stay there and kicking it with us everyday. thanks for the shirt, thanks for the rides, thanks for the food, and thanks for just chillin. i hope that you all make it out to the PI so we have a tatlong itlog+ more reunion. but yeah, stay supafly! YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Allen: nice, i just got a can of water which can make 3 cups of water.  what it do ALLEN!? haha thanks for coming down all of those times. you know that it was fun most of the time that you came down. sorry i didnt really drink when i was there. its just not really my thang. but hopefully the next time i see you, i’ll be more comfortable drinking and i’ll go and drink with yall. the drinking scene aint goin no where. but yeah, thanks for throwing that little bbq at your house and letting us stay over those couple of times. i definitely had a blastie and cant wait to do it again. so stay safe and dont go too crazy out there in the mean streets of sD.

Uncle Tits: yeah, i said it. Tits! hahahaha. i almost choked on these nuts in my mouth. it just makes my throat so dry. hahahahhahaha. thank you agua!  but yeah. thanks for totally going out of your way most of the time to chill. it really meant alot to me for you to stop by and chill. thanks for introducing me to the whole Geocaching(sp?) scene. it’ll definitely give me something to do when im in guamania. but yeah, keep up with the cascheing(sp? haha) and i hope that you make it out to the PI for the reunion! oh my, my ears are all wack. oh yeah, you totally have to tell me the site to get the lazer thing again. i already forgot in less than 24 hrs. but yeah. i had lots of fun especially my last night hiking and what not. i’ll definitely bring my gear next time! stay safe with desiree and you still have to answer me question…..40 weight? 50 weight?

ALGHAHALALALALAHAHAHGLGHHALAHAH!!!!!

so ive been on the plane to oakland for about an hour now and my ears are all clogged. yawn and now its gone. i had a great time with all of McK and i cant wait to see you all again. im definitely going to try and keep up with all of these technologies that keep changing and MAYBE i’ll get interwebs for my phone so i can update on the fly like you cool kids! hmm, now all of the seriousness of this blog is gone and now im just bored. i have about 20-30 more minutes till i land, then i wanna just keep my comp on so when i land, i’ll hack into the internet and post this. but we’ll see. man. im really essited for these geo c.’s yeah, i’ll just call it that since i dont remember how to spell it. haha. the pilot sounds funny. oh gotta go landing soon. yahoo!!!

i got 2nds.

im still accepting the fact that i have a new family. and i dont mean that in a bad way. i have a breand new family that i REALLY wanna get to know. i just missed out on a perfect opportunity to get to know EVERYONE, but ONCE AGAIN, work has prevented me from it. it makes me happy that i just got those pictures from Mom2. i looked at all 184 of them and it really cheered me up.  everyone just looked so happy. and i really hope that i can attend the next fambam reunion. i know that i met most of you in october but i never got to KNOW anyone. i really wanna get to know everyone and let everyone know who i am. i feel that im still like the new guy on the block, even though i AM. but ive been around for almost 5 years and i still havent gotten to know anyone. i really want to get stationed in Seattle next so we’re closer but i dont want to make any promises at this time. theres certain things that i want to do in my career still and going to seattle might not be in the cards with certain paths (going to become an officer). but i know that i seattle is going to be my top pick on where i want to go next. i want jennifer and i to be closer to the family and experience another new place in the world.  man, im starting to get sad now. i was just thinking about the little girls in the family that have grown so much already. i remember seeing pictures of them when they were REALLY little and how they are now. and ive only seen them once since they were born. and they look really interesting and SUPER cool to hang out with. it sucks how i have to write this on here for people to see other than saying to you guys in person, but thats what i have to do. its going to be hard this next year with no family out here, but im happy to know that i’ll get those pictures and emails from my new family. it’ll motivate me to keep my head up during the tough times of being alone and theres no one to be here. im starting to ramble on now and im losing the original message that i wanted to send so im going to end this soon. haha. i cant wait to see you, get to know you, and let you guys get to know me. thank for the pictures and PLEASE send more.  take care everyone and good night all!

ps: dont worry fambam uno, i still <3 you guys. even though you all SMELL! =o)

gold emblem with, 2 M’s in it…

its been almost a month since i last blogged. man, what a long time. so heres the latest scoop on whats going on in my little world today:

its saturday morning at 927 on the 27th of june. i just got done cleaning the shower AND taking a shower. it was a twofer. i want to do the laundry but i know that im really running low on laundry detergent. i need to wash all of the sheets cause my grandma, auntie ninang, and 2 cousins are going to be staying at the jR casa. so i need laundry detergent and to finally get the table from donald. ive REALLY been lagging on that, but oh well.  im listening to the sultry sounds of John Legend’s Get Lifted album. man, he’s the freakin man. im going to bump his albums today. if i even go out. i wanna get the stuff today, but i know that the AFB wont have the scent i want and i know that the NEX is too far. haha. i dont wanna drive through all the traffic today and deal with all of the local BS. i dont know what im going to do this wonderful saturday but i DO know that i need to save money. im going to eSD in 2 weeks and im UBER essited. i was talking to uncle jason last night and he got a SUPER essited to go to Comic Con this year. im going to be rockin my running shoes so i can last longer. i want to get a new backpack or get my eclipse bag back cause i need one with more compartments. i want a The North Face one, but its a little too pricy. i DO need a new travel bag for my clothes and stuff though. the one i have is sooooo wack. its all limp and shizz. thats what she said. but yeah. i just dont have the money to be throwing around like that. so, im not going to go out unless its going to be VERY cheap or it wont even involve spending money. so today, im going to cook some woderful breakfast, then chill out and play some video games. maybe go rent a movie or something, but im definitely not going to spend cash money.  so until next time, I’m NERDvitz saying Stay Classy San DiAgo!

pouring soda in the backseat…

so im reading The Last Lecture – Randy Pausch. and so far, this book is REALLY making me think. it makes you realize many things about life. it makes me really sad knowing how a great guy like him had his life ended when his life mattered the most. i just finished reading the chapter named “Pouring Soda in the Backseat” and i wanted to cry just reading it. just thinking about how i am with my family made me wish that i was like him and his family. hmmm…right when i was done reading it, i knew that i needed to blog about how i felt, but now that im typing this, i cant think of what i want to put. its just a rush of emotions that i get when i read this book. thanks jenny for intoducing me to this book. im at page 73 of 207. so im almost half way and these past 73 pages were already awesome. this book is a definite must read. if you ONLY saw the lecture, its not the same. but once you read the book, you’ll know.

p/s. please dont pour soda in my backseat. unlike him, i’ll be REALLY pissed.

so here’s your holiday…

so, im listening to these songs and theres something about them that makes me feel like i want to go back. go back and start it all over again. i wish that i didnt join the military. i wish that i was still able to do what i want, look how i wanted and be where i want to be. i wish that i still had my long hair. i wish that i could just stay home and play the drums all day. i really wish that i persued my drumming. i can still try now, but its not the same. im horrible at making beats. i would love to grow out my hair, chill with my friends, and just rock out. not a care in the world. just the music…

reading brings great knowledge

“When you’re screwing up and no body says anything to you anymore, that means they’ve given up on you.” that totally makes sense. thank you randy pausch. great book so far. nice.

i have a problem…

spending money. yeah. i tend to NOT go home. haha. i seem to always go BIG. and im at a point in my life where a change is needed. it all started when i got my first job. the moment that i started making money and was able to pay for my own things is when i noticed that i can scurry up some money and get the BEST of whatever i wanted. im so competitive over items. i have to have the best. it got even worse when i joined the coast guard. when i was in A-school, i had all of the newest games, movies, and cd’s. i just had to get it. and i was getting the “collector’s edition”, “limited edition”, AKA the most expensive ones. i even went out and got my alienware laptop that was about $3,000. yes, three and three zeros. for a laptop. the one im using right now to write this. was it necessary? no. baller? yes. hah. and then i moved to guam and made more money. my bluray collection shot through the roof. i dont trade in games anymore, i buy new all the time. my cd collection multiplied. i have the fastest internet they offer on island. i have a DVR that i only use once a year. the list goes ON!

i spend alot more money than i need to. but the point of this blog ISNT to say that i need help. its to show myself and whoever reads this, that i have changed. i’m a married man with goals in life. i cant just go out and spend all of my money on that shiny new mouse thats $100 when the one i have is perfectly fine. i cant do it anymore. i have goals to accomplish before i leave guam. i have one year to reach them. what are my goals you ask?

heres the main ones:

- Travel to japan one more time (vacation)

- Travel to the philippines one more time

- Become Open Water Diver certified

- Dive the Great Barrier Reef (Australia) on a Liveaboard.

and do it all without charging it on my credit cards. another twist to it is to have no debt and pay for jenn to come along. so i have to pay off all credit cards (3) and save enough for jenn and i to do everything in that list. i want jenn to experience all of these with me.  in a way, theyre a once in a lifetime deal, especially for the price. so, i need to modify my lifestyle and make it all happen. i spoke with jenn already talking about goals and how i am when i have one. when i have a goal and feel passionately about it, i figure out whatever i have to do to achieve that goal. and i feel that way about that list. theres other things that go into getting to those goals like getting jenn all good snorkel gear ($300) and planning what we wanna do in the PI and japan. cause thats going to cost money too. and dates. i need to save as much leave as possible. so i might cut my july trip short so i can have some when we go to travel. the US isnt going anywhere for me. i need to see whats on this side of the world. i want to be a travel addict (like carolyn’s cool sticker that says “hello, I’m a Travel Addict”). after we leave guam, it’ll be time to save and go to europe. but back to the point. my life has changed. i think i can offically say, “i HAD a problem”…

…

its amazing how one line can totally change the way you think about people. remember all the times that ive helped when you needed it…